I'm like if Barbie was a fat trans man

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277k ratings

See, thatโ€™s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I donโ€™t wanna
garfieldcore
hamvendor

Not to sound like a fuckin hippie but please for the love of god start noticing and appreciating the natural world around you. You don’t have to go hike the entire Appalachian trail or anything and I get that not everyone has access to the outdoors for various reasons, but just fucking … look around you when you’re outside. Notice the sky and the sun and the birds and creatures. Start caring about them. I’m begging you.

seananmcguire
vampireapologist

so in third grade I told two of my friends I could talk to horses & made up a really dramatic backstory of how I “discovered” my powers & our teacher overheard us talking about it and told the child psychologist I was seeing for insomnia issues & the child psychologist asked me about it & I was first and foremost terrified that if I admitted to the lie, this medical professional would tell my friends I made it all up

so I doubled down and insisted I could really talk to horses. I was doing major damage control. I didn’t realize you can’t just tell psychiatric professionals you have magic powers, I was 8.

so I ended up in counseling for this for an entire year until eventually I just stopped going for some reason but when I was 20 the office contacted me to tell me the psychologist was retiring & asked if I wanted a copy of my childhood records before they were filed away and eventually shredded & I said sure & went over them & discovered that she had diagnosed me with “psychotic delusions” bc I was 8 and apparently convinced her I truly thought I could talk to horses.

genuinely cannot tell if I my parents should’ve been cashing in on me as the most sought-after child actor of the era or if that psychologist was just extremely so so so bad at her job.

vampireapologist

I also figured out I stopped seeing her because she told my parents the diagnosis and my dad was like “she’s doesn’t think she can talk to horses!!! she’s lying to you 😭😭😭😭” but she didn’t believe him

vampireapologist

i say i was a weird-horse-girl in elementary school and you say “me too” but did it get you a psychiatric diagnosis

vampireapologist

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I was gone for 3 years during which time I became a professional column writer for various magazines. i wish what brought me back was an insatiable passion for storytelling but unfortunately it was a need to post about baldurโ€™s gate 3